top of page

Never 'shhush' a child... (Parenting-1)

Silence isn't always bliss

Not always does it herald peace..

Poem 'Silence isn't always bliss' by Anupam TK @anupamsGnC

There's silence that screams

In ear splitting..heart wrenching beams..

Silence that suffocates

Upsetting life giving breaths, to erratic rates

Silence that clenches

The mind n the heart

Silence that wrenches

Happiness apart

Silence that needs an ear,a heart

Silence that needs to be pulled apart...

The next time you 'shhush' your child into silence..

Stop 'n think of the rock you may have sown

A rock that may weigh him down forever

A rock that may eat him from within, forever..

A rock that may continue to grow..

Making the love in his heart a li'l slow.

Let's sweep out under the rugs for once

Let's open our eyes to reality runs

Let's Shatter the Silence!

Let's give feelings a free run.

We humans are but an amalgamation of our thoughts, feelings and actions. Any discussion in psychology will inevitably revolve around one or all three of these.

Today lets talk about feelings.. It's our childhood experiences that decide whether we are able to feel those feels freely or simply bottle them in.

As well-meaning parents, while we encourage our kids to squeal n jump with joy, clap their hands in excitement, we 'shhush' them when it comes to expressing the negative feelings... of sadness, fear, jealousy, resentment, anger. Shh.. don't cry, Shh.. don't be angry, Shh....

We do it hoping to protect them from the negatives... erroneously believing that 'what is not expressed is not experienced or felt'. In reality however, in such instances, the child feels it all... suffering in lonesome silence.

Such instances in fact distance your child from you.. making him/her cautious and wary of uninhibitedly sharing his/her mind with you, in addition to teaching your child to be ashamed and embarrassed of him/herself, for not being able to stop experiencing negative feels...

In extreme circumstances, your 'shhush' vs 'listen' can be the difference between inadvertently perpetuating vs stemming a prospective or ongoing abusive relationship in your child's life...!!

So if you want to gift your children a 'beautiful bachpan', next time they begin to express negative feelings... say 'It's OK to cry/ be angry/.., tell me what happened' and then LISTEN.

Listening needs to be done right too :) Look out for my next blog 'Listen'.

Parents, don't ever sow a rock.. and in case one is sown already.. we'll help you shatter it, by helping your child break the silence. Visit our website to know more or message us your queries.

Are you an adult bearing rocks from your childhood? We can help you break free. Book an appointment for personal counseling.

Copyright ©anupamsCounseling All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us

logo of Anupams guidance & counseling services

the wind beneath your wings

bottom of page