Silence isn't always bliss
Not always does it herald peace..
There's silence that screams
In ear splitting..heart wrenching beams..
Silence that suffocates
Upsetting life giving breaths, to erratic rates
Silence that clenches
The mind n the heart
Silence that wrenches
Silence that needs an ear,a heart
Silence that needs to be pulled apart...
The next time you 'shhush' your child into silence..
Stop 'n think of the rock you may have sown
A rock that may weigh him down forever
A rock that may eat him from within, forever..
A rock that may continue to grow..
Making the love in his heart a li'l slow.
Let's sweep out under the rugs for once
Let's open our eyes to reality runs
Let's Shatter the Silence!
Let's give feelings a free run.
We humans are but an amalgamation of our thoughts, feelings and actions. Any discussion in psychology will inevitably revolve around one or all three of these.
Today lets talk about feelings.. It's our childhood experiences that decide whether we are able to feel those feels freely or simply bottle them in.
As well-meaning parents, while we encourage our kids to squeal n jump with joy, clap their hands in excitement, we 'shhush' them when it comes to expressing the negative feelings... of sadness, fear, jealousy, resentment, anger. Shh.. don't cry, Shh.. don't be angry, Shh....
We do it hoping to protect them from the negatives... erroneously believing that 'what is not expressed is not experienced or felt'. In reality however, in such instances, the child feels it all... suffering in lonesome silence.
Such instances in fact distance your child from you.. making him/her cautious and wary of uninhibitedly sharing his/her mind with you, in addition to teaching your child to be ashamed and embarrassed of him/herself, for not being able to stop experiencing negative feels...
In extreme circumstances, your 'shhush' vs 'listen' can be the difference between inadvertently perpetuating vs stemming a prospective or ongoing abusive relationship in your child's life...!!
So if you want to gift your children a 'beautiful bachpan', next time they begin to express negative feelings... say 'It's OK to cry/ be angry/.., tell me what happened' and then LISTEN.
Listening needs to be done right too :) Look out for my next blog 'Listen'.
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